I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
