My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
