We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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