The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Even my vagina gasped.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
