Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
