i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
