i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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