You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
