I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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