the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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