Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
