I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
