I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
