I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize