Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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