I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
