Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
