I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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