I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
