You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
