My hair reeks of homosexuality.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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