i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
