I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
