Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
