My nipple is on Facebook.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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