It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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