get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it's great music for shaving your balls
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
