I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
