So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
no, he came in my armpit
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Randomize
