Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
