Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
then he tried to convert me to islam
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Alive.
So much puke
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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