I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i dont even know how to be here
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
