Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
