Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
