i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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