i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
