Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Me too!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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