Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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