I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
