I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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