What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize