So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You were trust falling into bushes
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
