oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
