i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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