how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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