I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
