dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
