We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
