i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
