Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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