i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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