found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
