nut hugger
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have demons in me.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize