We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
