You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
