you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
