Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
