Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize