Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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