Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
