This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
