nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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