Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
