my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
